It’s very common to feel lost in the sea of all things relationship. Many of us try to find guidance so we can do our best when we have a relationship. Whether you’re in a relationship, single, or married, this blog is about to drop some tips on healthy relationships and nuggets of wisdom so you can build the relationship of your wildest dreams.
These short habits are practical guidelines applicable to any type of amorous relationship you wish to pursue..
1. They Set Ground Rules
More often than not, we set to establish relationship, but never truly sit down and discuss the rules of the game. We’re usually spearheaded by what we were brought up to believe that relationships should be.
During childhood, we develop our attachment styles and meanings of what love is and looks like while receiving the influence of what our parents tells us that makes a good relationship.
What they don’t usually tell us is that relationships are mutually defined. Healthy relationships are an established agreement between all parties involved. Even though starting the discussion early may seem uncomfortable, its best that all parties involved set the ground rules of the game.
What are your deal-breakers?
What are your needs in a relationship?
What are you willing to compromise in?
and many more questions partners should discuss in order to navigate the relationship with ease.
2. They Seek to Deeply Understand Their Partner
Many of life’s problems stem from the fact that we just don’t understand each other. The same is true for romantic relationships. Couples in happy relationships seek to deeply understand their partner.
Instead of ranting about the things that they did and said, they become curious and try to understand why that behavior appeared in the first place.
It’s your partner and you vs. the problem, not you vs. your partner.
Once you fully internalize that, you can position yourself to be curious about your partner’s behaviors. Every act is either an act of love or a cry for love.
Was your partner acting out of love or crying for love?
If you’re uncertain, then don’t think twice about asking your partner for more details. Hold the space for them judgement free, and you just might be amazed with what you’ll find out.
3. They Practice Appreciative Communication
Happy and healthy couples that know how to have a healthy relationship, make of their priorities to keep the communication open and fluid. There may be times where your feelings get hurt or your overwhelmed with uncertainty about a situation.
In these moments, they don’t close off. They remove themselves from the situation until they’re emotionally sober. Once emotionally sober, the couple can then assess the root of the problem. Perhaps it was a misunderstanding, perhaps something wasn’t discussed completely or the message didn’t get across as expected.
Always be ready to be open and share what you’re thinking or feeling in a respectful way. Check out my blog on Tips to Strengthen Your Relationships for more details on appreciative communication.
4. They Prioritize Their Relationship and Agree on Exceptions to Priorities
There’s no doubt that relationships are hard work. However, couples that build habits of healthy relationships know to prioritize accordingly.
What do I mean by this?
All parties involved understand and acknowledge the set of priorities in their partner’s life and are in agreeance with them.
For example, if you date a graduate college student, you have to understand that getting the academic work done may sometimes bump up in the priority list causing other activities to be rescheduled or displace.
Are you willing to accept and cope with the priority switches that come with dating someone in graduate school?
For some people, this is a deal-breaker. It’s one of the main reasons why many couples break up during medical or law school. Time availability shifts, and maybe you are right there in their priority list, but there might be times where you’ll have to make big compromises and sacrifices.
Is that something you’re willing to do?
Keep in mind agreed upon priorities when you want to have strong relationships.
One must be careful to not let the changes in priorities affect the relationship negatively. It’s all about balance. Have a talk with your partner so you can establish priorities and flexible priorities so you can enjoy a strong and healthy relationship.
5. They Respect Each Other's Boundaries
Respect is a must-have foundation in order to have a healthy and happy relationship. Happy couples know how to respect their partner’s boundaries.
You know that point when you’re teasing someone and they start to get a little bit uncomfortable? Take that as a sign that a boundary has been infringed upon. Perhaps you touched on their insecurities and weaponized them, or perhaps you didn’t know that was a boundary they have.
When in doubt, always as your partner What are your boundaries when it comes to -topic-?
This way, you don’t have to go all mystic and try to guess whatever boundaries they have. You get it straight from that source. Ain’t that amazing? ha-ha!
True love will respect your boundaries and happy, healthy couples know and live by this.
6. They Genuinely Support your Positive Life Endeavors
It’s no secret that power couples are those that we see always supporting each other and getting through tough times together.
Happy couples genuinely support each other’s positive life endeavors.
Your partner got a raise? Celebrate it without jealousy.
Your partner got a promotion? Celebrate it without jealousy.
Does your partner have amazing friends? Celebrate it without jealousy.
Does your partner have a beautiful relationship with his or her parents? Celebrate it without jealousy.
Genuinely support your partner; be your partner’s #1 cheerleader. Come from a place of admiration and not jealousy. If you find yourself feeling jealous ask yourself
Why am I feeling jealous?
What about my partner’s success bothers me so much?
Always redirect those thoughts to genuine appreciation and support and you’ll build the happy and healthy relationship you’ve always wanted.
7. They Work as a Team
Think about your partner(s) as your teammates in life. Everybody on the team is collaborating in order to achieve the common goal whatever that may be.
Your common goal can be:
- A healthy monogamous relationship
- A healthy polyamorous relationship
- A fully complementary relationship
- Reduce the frequency of arguments
- Weekly housework
- Life work-load distribution
and much more! When you think about your partner as a teammate and not an opponent, a lot of doors begin to open towards building the habits for a healthy and happy relationship.
8. They Practice Vulnerability Daily
In order to have the healthy and happy relationship that you see many couples having… there’s a habit you need to develop…
Practice vulnerability daily. The idea is to give bullets to your partner to shoot you and trusting them not to do.
That’s how we deepen intimacy. That thing that you’re afraid to say because you’re uncertain about how it may be received because it taps into your insecurities? Share it with your partner. Practice vulnerability and openness with them. Happy couples know to cherish their partner’s vulnerability daily.
9. They Know How to Handle Arguments
Happy couples in healthy relationships know when to walk away from an argument. They usually ask themselves questions like these:
What outcome do I want from this argument?
Why are we having this argument?
What is the real reason or elephant in the room in this argument?
Happy couples in healthy relationships know to not spend too much time arguing if the argument seems to be going nowhere. They know to put the relationship and love for their partner above all else and gracefully exit argument either physically leaving the place or taking control of the conversation and redirecting it towards regaining back the harmony in the relationship.
10. The Are Solution Focused
Healthy and happy couples know to focus on the solution and not the problem. Focusing on the problem does not help build a healthy relationship. Instead, it damages it.
Shift your mindset towards thinking
How can we solve this problem?
What do we need to solve this problem?
Start with that and slowly build a list of possible solutions for the problem and discuss them with your partner. Happy couples know when to steer the conversation back into a productive and solution-oriented discussion.
11. They Set Goals and Discuss Building a Future Together
Happy and successful couples have nailed one of many things… and that is goal setting and life building.
Most people in relationships are looking to build long-term fulfilling partnerships. One of the ways to do so is by discussing the future together. This ties up to one of the previous habits I mentioned earlier on setting the ground rules.
What kind of future do you envision for yourself with your partner?
Does it align with what your partner wants too?
What are non-negotiables in your future?
Are you both equally excited about it?
Share the beautiful feeling of building something together with your partner. You can do so with vision boards where you can share your dreams as you accomplish them together.
12. They Develop Security in their Relationship
I was going to write here “they’re secure in their relationship”, but that doesn’t support my point here.
It’s possible that you start off a relationship with a whole bunch of insecurities. However, when couples build security together via deepening trust and intimacy, the partners can get transform that insecurity into security.
Many healthy and happy couples build their strong relationships been developing security. Life becomes a lot easier when you’re emotionally safe and can have someone to rely on when things get tough.
13. They Agree on the Level of Shared Privacy
Countless times I’ve seen couples argue over likes, or shares, or pictures on social media. Sometimes one partner attributes some meaning very different than what their counterpart intended.
Happy and healthy couples know to discuss how much privacy they’re willing to share with the world both in real life and on social media.
While some couples love to have their romantic relationships broadcasted online, others prefer a more quiet approach.
It’s very possible that a partner may desire to share lots of content about his or her relationship online. Be sure to thoroughly discuss what you’re okay with and your boundaries when it comes to relationship privacy. Strong, healthy, and happy couples know to honor their partner in these scnearios.
14. They Indulge in Common Interests
Common interests are a great way happy and healthy couples develop and deepen their intimacy. Through shared interests and hobbies, you can strengthen the rapport with your partner while having all the fun in the world.
15. They Respect Each Other's Individuality
Successful couples know that their partners are a person of their own. They have their own set of beliefs and ways of doing life. In order for the relationship to be successful, you must understand that your partner was someone with friends and family before the relationship.
You can take your time and change your priorities, but the core nugget in this one is to respect the life that your partner decides to share with you and openly enjoy it.
16. They Understand Each Other's Love Language
As I previously mentioned, one of the most common problems with humans is that we don’t understand each other and then hell breaks loose.
Most successful and healthy couples know that their partner has his or her preferred ways to show and understand affection and appreciation.
The five love languages are words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch.
Happy and healthy couples speak the language of their lover to show their affection in a way that they can best understand it.
17. They Don't Hold Grudges
Happy and healthy couples in strong relationships learn to not hold grudges. They build their relationships around trust and forgiveness.
If your partner did something that for some reason hurt your feelings, speak up respectfully and don’t let the negative emotions bottle up. They do more harm than good both in your relationship and mentally.
Holding on to grudges also affects your physical well-being, so why bother to bottle things up?
If there is not enough trust in the relationship for you to open up, communicate with your partner and let them know what you need in order to get there.
18. They Lift Each Other Up
Lifting each other up when sh!t hits the fan is SO IMPORTANT. This helps deepen and build the strong and healthy relationship that you observe in happy couples.
This one ties up with a previous point I mentioned on genuinely supporting life endeavors.
Not only do happy, strong, and healthy couples support each other, but always make it a habit to lift their partner up when times get tough!
19. They Laugh Together
It’s no secret that you see happy couples laughing a lot with each other. Laughing together not only sets you up for a good time with your partner, it’s also scientifically proven to help you release stress.
So start building that laughing habit!
20. They Make Time to Spend Quality Time Together
Happy and healthy couples don’t just spend time together, they make sure that they do.
Many of us live very busy lives from dealing with work, kids, pets, spouses, family, housework, and more.
In order to build the successful relationships you’ve always wanted, you need to make sure that no matter how busy your life may get, you take time to deliberately spend with your partner.
This not only lets them know you’re a priority in their life, it also works as an intimacy deepening mechanism so make sure that you chat with your partner and come to an agreement on how much time and when you guys can spend together to just enjoy each other’s company.
I’d love to know your thoughts in the comments below! What do you think about these 20 habits healthy couples have?